Party Girl to Alcohol Free Lady.

addiction alcohol habit Sep 14, 2017

If you have been a party girl for a significant time, going alcohol free can seem a bit daunting.

Initially you probably take a break from alcohol because you need to, because you feel like you are drinking too much, and you have found yourself asking questions like "I drink a bottle of wine every night am I an alcoholic?". Or you feel shit, sick of the hangovers, spending way too much money, the feelings of not quite remembering what happened, embarrassment, the wasted days, the list goes on.  So, you are fired up, motivated, you can do a month and you feel great.

I have been drinking too much and I want to stop. What next?

If you are used to going out every weekend and having a fully booked social calendar; this can feel like a big lifestyle change.

I know, I have been there.  Always a party to go to, always something to celebrate, often drinking too much, the whole year booked up.

When you stop usually you don’t hang out with your old friends so much. Particularly if they all still party.  There are very few people I know that take a break and continue with that lifestyle. There are many reasons for this, the temptation being one of them. If you really don’t want to drink being in those situations in the early days can be just too much. You know the “Go on, you know you want to” or “Oh god you are so boring now you don’t drink” to “how long is this going to last” from your friends.  Peer group pressure from adults, yes fully grown responsible adults is a real thing.  I have been on both sides, delivering and receiving it.

But also, if you are not participating then it’s quite a different experience. I encourage all of you to do it, once you feel ready, go to parties’ alcohol free it’s an important part of taking a break.  It’s interesting, after a while you get more and more discerning about where you go and who with.

If you are missing this lifestyle and you can feel its pull, but you really don’t want to drink again there are a few things you can do.

Making it Work   

Firstly, have a think about what it is you are missing about partying.  What’s missing in your life that is making you want to go back?  Is it fun, excitement, all the attention, habit, fear of missing out, something to do, music, socialising? The list goes on.

Once you know what it is you are missing, you need to find things that you can do that will give you the same thing or similar. It might not feel like it, but socialising without alcohol can be done. And it can be fun!

For instance.  For me, I was missing fun and excitement.  I still needed to go out and be around people and have fun.  If I didn’t do that I was going to pop. I got lucky, a friend took me partner dancing and after some time it hit all my buttons, this did take some time though.

You might have to try quite a few things until you find the thing that works for you.

Action Point

Figure out what being a party girl used to give you, what drinking too much used to give you, then write a list of 5 things you can do that might hit the spot. It doesnt matter if you are not sure, sometimes the proof is in the pudding.

You are going to have to step out of your comfort zone with this one. Go to new places, meet people you don’t know, push your self and do new things.   Also, it takes time to meet new people and make friends. Patience and persistence are key here.

Who Am I?

The other thing to watch out for is has this been your identity? Being a party girl, is it who you are? If this is the case, take some time to really think about your life: how do you want it to be? What sort of person do you want to be?  I know BIG questions!

If you have been a party girl for a while, if you have got used to drinking too much and going out a lot, life has been exciting; you probably had lots going on and were very busy. So in terms of stimulation that’s a 10. Life was moving fast, you go alcohol free and sometimes there isn’t a lot of fun and excitement going on so it’s definitely from one extreme to the other.  But it will balance out trust me, it will and then it will be even better.

When I really got into my dancing I started to get good and I was dancing with some amazing dancers. The feeling was better than any drink or drug I could take, now that is worth the work it takes to get there.

When you write your list of things to do, think big. Dream like a child. Make a list of things you have always wanted to do, like a mini bucket list, then, go do them.

But make sure you tell us what you did.

Stephanie Chivers is a habit, and addiction specialist. I help women change their relationship around drugs and alcohol through 1:1 coaching and a self-guided video coaching programme. Contact me for help today.

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