We need to talk about this, because people get really upset.

It’s one of those things that people don’t want to talk about.  I get it, no one wants to say they messed up.  People feel like they are a failure.  There are so many negative words and feelings attached to this.

People call these events relapses, slips, going backwards etc. Lots of horrible, negative words that make us feel bad. 

Here’s the thing, we are not perfect and life isn’t perfect.

Very few people actually give up something and then never do it again.  Even people who are incredible healthy, healthy eaters and fitness lovers etc. eat ice cream from time to time, or have a take away.

Abstinence, for some people is the only way but for most people it won’t be.

When you first stop drinking, or whatever your poison is.  Maybe you will have set a goal.

You could be planning to stop for 1 week, 1 month, 3 months, a year or even alcohol free for life.  Whatever time frame you have set, there is a chance that you will...

We need to talk about sleep and relaxation or down time.  I don’t mind what you call it.

Those of you that know me, know I do a lot of work with women.  Women of all ages and all walks of life.

Women with partners, husbands, children, caring for older relatives, career women, you name it there is every type of woman in there.

There are a few common themes that come up a lot.

One of them is feeling tired and before anyone says anything, I know I know, I am one of the worst for pushing myself and keeping myself going.  That also puts me in a good place to talk about it because I know.

I feel like we have been sold something that is unattainable.  You know the “ we can have everything dream”.  Now don’t get me wrong, if you want everything you can have everything if it’s that important to you and I am not going to stop you.  But it’s not real, let’s be clear, no one can do everything and be everything.

It’s a funny world we live in.  Some of us have to work, we may already have chil...

Or Alcohol free grown up drinks as I call them.

For the first time ever I am quite excited about the range of alcohol free drinks on offer.

Maybe they have been there all the time and it’s just me living in a cave in Devon.  But it seems like the world is getting the idea.

Some of us don’t want to drink alcohol, well actually more of us all the time.  How exciting is that.

But as we know, the range of alcohol free drinks has been a little bit poor , even terrible if you are not sugar mad.  Let’s face it pretty much all soft drinks are very sugary.  Which I am not a fan of.  After a while your mouth gets a bit furry.

I hear rumours though that some of these aren’t too sweet and taste like they may be suitable for grown-ups.

Purchasing them in your local supermarket may still be an issue.  But the fact that they are there means someone has thought about us, it’s a step in the right direction. And we can buy it off the internet. Actually, if you like one, pester your supermarket to ...

I recently I asked my audience what can I help you with the most?

The biggest thing you want is more top tips for quitting.

I know I go on about booze a lot, for so many reasons, but essentially these tips can be translated for any substance that is causing you a problem in your life today.

I have many favourites as you know.

Eat healthy foods, don’t drink or take drugs, exercise, sleep, spend time with the people you love, laugh, be in nature.  You know all the simple things that we know work.  Fundamentals I call them.  Get your basics in place.

If you have trouble getting your basics in please work with a suitably experienced and qualified coach.  Seriously it will really help and save you so much time.

Are you ready, drum roll………

My number 1 tip for when you take a break, or stop using anything is get out there and do something different.

I mean it really.

I know it’s tough when you first stop and the last thing you want to do is meet and be with new people that don’t drin...

Some of us are bothered by the way we look.  I know we shouldn’t be, but we are. Let’s be real about it.  I am not talking about looking like a Barbie doll or some weird plastic caricature of yourself. I am talking about growing old gracefully, feeling comfortable in your own skin, in a Susan Sarandon type of way.

Because let’s be honest, if we feel good, life feels better, easier, we are more confident and it improves all areas of our life.

If you know me, you know I really don’t mind where you get your motivation from to be healthy and happy.  It’s your motivation after all not mine.  I just want you to live the best life you can, have choices.

Feeling healthy and happy is a big part of that.

So, if you are motivated by how you look and that helps drive your decisions about what you’re eating, your exercise and lifestyle then, great go for it, because it wont harm you.  Making healthy choices that is.

One of the biggest things you can do when you get to a certain age 40 – 45 plu...

Ok let’s talk about social anxiety and how to socialize without drinking.

I am not a fan of labels, but you all know what I mean by social anxiety so I will use it. 

What I have seen in all my years of doing this work and living it, is that some people can really struggle with socialising when they are giving up alcohol, partying or drug use. 

Mostly this is just because they have been so used to socialising with. 

I think what has happened is as a society we acceptably use alcohol and other substances, although mostly alcohol as a social lubricant and to do business. 

It’s a given, it’s just what happens. We drink, we socialize. 

I don’t think people really realise that that’s what they are doing.  It isn’t a conscious thing.  It’s just you drink when you are out and about, most people do. So, it isn’t until you start giving up alcohol that you really notice this stuff. 

Are you someone that is changing their relationship with drinking? Maybe you are giving up alcohol for good ...

Ok so I suppose its a bit like cheating. The habit and addiction specialist giving up sugar for 30 days.  But sugar is everywhere, really it is and I was eating a lot of it every day. My bad habit well and truly set in.  There’s got to be some treats in life right?  If you don’t drink, take drugs or have sex I mean really there needs to be chocolate?

I have given up sugar before for more than 30 days.

But it’s been a while, I think I can safely say I haven’t done more than 7 days in over 3/ 4 years.

So yes, I am ashamed to say, I was eating quite a bit of rubbish.  In my defence, there was also a lot of healthy in there too.

But by mid-afternoon I was reaching for the biscuits and chocolate.  Well, anything I could push in my mouth quickly.

I can do 7 days easily, so why not 30 I thought.

After all I am a habit specialist, time to put my money where my mouth was.  I’ve got pretty much everything else cracked.

Time to bash the sugar.

Here is what I learnt:

·         It’s good t...

Living in the moment; what does that really mean? And why is it a good thing.

People keep talking about it. But do you really know what it is and how to do it?

I love it when I talk to people about this and they just look at me confused.

Why? Why do I ask people to do this, or at least try it?

People come to me mostly because they are having problems with their drug or alcohol use.  Then it’s the life stuff that comes next.

How do you live when you aren’t drinking or partying?

What do people do? How do they cope when things don’t work out?

The answers to this are too big for a blog or even a book.  But maybe this will give you an idea of how to live in the moment, how to do it and what the benefits can be for you.

I got a text from a friend this morning.  He is in the middle of a big life change and is finding things really overwhelming, feeling very emotional with lots of feelings of guilt and shame.

There is so much going on, change, insecurity, so much of it unknown.

Have you have been thinking about getting help to stop drinking? Or reducing or controlling your drinking?

Or maybe it’s your partying or drug use that has got out of hand.

You don’t want to tell your doctor or maybe you have spoken to them but it wasn’t really that helpful.

Some people will just be able to stop, gain control or reduce.  There is so much information out there on how to stop drinking, but it’s hard to know who and what to listen to.

What if you can’t do it on your own, what then? There is lots of help to stop drinking available, but you have to know where to look.

When I wanted to make a change and find help to stop drinking, I was lucky there was a great trainer and therapist in my life that had already spotted me coming a mile off, so they were ready for the call.  Also, in some weird way I was trying to help myself.  The want was there, I wanted my life to be different I just didn’t know how.

If that person hadn’t been there I don’t know what I would have done,...

If you want to make changes to your life, you must do something different. Action is needed.

Yes, you can read books, do courses and learn from people.  Obviously, they are all good things to do.  But none of it matters unless you are willing to do something about it and try things. And that’s the bit where people get stuck.

The thing is we don’t know until we try, the only way is through.

In fact, I would say that’s how most of us learn, through doing.

For instance when you first learn to drive you have no idea what you are doing.  All of it seems weird, awkward, scary and confusing.  You have to think really hard, pay attention and concentrate.  You make mistakes, stall the car and kangaroo jump around the car park.  Maybe you even feel scared and anxious. Or have doubts about whether you will even be able to learn. Thoughts of “will I ever pass my test” or “will I kill someone” running through your head.

It takes time and you practice every week, maybe even more for quite some ...